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acceptance
May 2009 
What do you have the hardest time accepting?
Posted on Jan 17th, 2009
by 
Tim
Tim
This is in Response to the Questions and Reflections for January 17, 2009:
Right now I am having a hard time accepting that my wife just fell out of love with me and that she is struggling to want to try and grow with me. I think we are shedding our young images of marriage and getting ready to move on to a more beautiful relationship and she is enjoying a new sense of flirting and being found attractive by other men. Everything we missed by getting married so young. I am finding out this means alot about me as well. But I have re-engaged my love of her for who she is now and she seems to not want to do it for me. She is coming home tonight to tell me if we can try or not.
In my sadness
tim
In my sadness
tim
Access: Public
I adore my husband, and luckily he feels the same way about me. I am very fortunate that he believes that communication is very important - we tell each other everything, and have the same opinions about most things. That being said, I love to flirt (which makes the other person feel good, as well as oneself), and he does too. There is nothing in it that affects our marriage, and there never will be - it is just an acknowledgement of how funny/charming/lovely the other person is, which most people don’t mention, and their pleasure in hearing this is reflected back on you.
It sounds as though your problems are different from this - is she withholding from you what she is offering to others? And if so, why? It would be great if you could encourage her to talk in depth about what she is actually going through right now, without fear of hurting you, and it would be wonderful if you could listen to this as you would listen to a friend, without taking it personally and feeling hurt or offended (which is incredibly difficult). Her feelings are valid, but there may be more solutions than she can see at the moment.
This must be such a difficult time. Know that you are held in loving prayer in this moment by me and in every moment by the one Great Love.
Life is a journey and we can never guess where it will go, but you are doing the right thing in growing with your wife, and the hope is that she will too. There must be a death before a rebirth and some of us struggle with that harder than others. You talk about “shedding young images of marriage” and that can be especially difficult for us women who have such set ideas about how our marriages, and lives, will go. Give her your patience and understanding as a gift so that she can get through this in her own time, and come back to her journey with you.
i hope it works out for you tim.