Posted on Jan 18th, 2009
by 
Tim
First let me say thank you to all the kind posters from my post yesterday. What do I notice my body, my arms ache from shoveling, my heart aches physically ? I can hear one son breathing, the other one coughing. It is fairly quite. The world seems quite this morning as the snow falls to the ground.
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Posted on Jan 16th, 2009
by Tim
I have been thinking about this a lot as my life has never been more un balanced. For me it is taking care of my soul. It is getting outside when nature allows me. It is getting out of the house to do work. It is about feeding my soul with dreams. What I have to work on right now is finding friend to hang out with. i was a pastor and move to Akron Oh. were I knew no one unfortunately hindsight has told me that I put all my energy into helping a very broken dsyfunctional church and pretending that was where my friends where so when they uncermoniously dumped my I have nothing but the feeling of being a fool. here is the hope things change.
Namaste
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Posted on Jan 19th, 2009
by Tim
I deal with fear positively by breathing through it using my knowledge of quigong to calm my heart. I believe the ancient chinese were wise when they said that we all have physical symptoms to our emotional reaction. Negatively I react to fear by talking maybe loudly or sometimes incessantly if it is a fear of something changing I can't understand. So I am costantly watching my reactions so that my fear does not hurt others or worse annoy them. LOL
peace
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Posted on Jan 9th, 2009
by Tim
I think this is going to be more of a challenge than a question for me. I have always taught that reflection and examination is important but it seems to often I dont take time to do it. I am not sure what that is all about.
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Posted on Jan 12th, 2009
by Tim
I believe if I could pick another religion to practice I would actual practice a spirituality such as Sufism or Taoism. I am leaning that way right know but haven't found a teacher. My internal anger against Christianity is beginning to seeth over and I often wonder what it would be like to walk in a true mystical way of the Sufi or the Tao. Someday I hope to find out.
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Posted on Jan 21st, 2009
by Tim
I can't remember the last time i needed or got that kind of help. When you have a family of six someone is always sick with you and I am the caregiver or if it is one of my kids sometimes i get let to sleep. But usually I get my own water or needs as long as I can remember.
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Posted on Jan 22nd, 2009
by Tim
naps, walks in the woods, placing myself in a place of calm. Brains not working today so I am keeping it simple.
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Posted on Jan 8th, 2009
by Tim
I have been able to do a lot of reading specifically reading I would like to do versus work related. I enjoy the knowledge which I have receive. Currently I am reading Soul Friend by Thomas Moore and trying to grasp the intimate knowledge he is passing on.
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Posted on Jan 5th, 2009
by Tim
my pain. I try and act as if everything is alright when it is not. I never share that with anyone. I am always ok. why is it we never share our hurt with othersa?
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Posted on Jan 28th, 2009
by Tim
This one has hard but i am learning that all i have lost or looked like I am going to lose in the last months are creating a stronger more complete person out of me. There were things in my life that I had comprmised and didn't even know that i had do to my last job. The lost of a job has allowed me to explore different spiritual areas I might not have before. The situation with my wife is helping me become more independent and opening up a desire to play that I didn't before.. All this is also moving me in a direction of healing and therapy I hadn't seen before.
Peace
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Posted on Jan 17th, 2009
by Tim
Right now I am having a hard time accepting that my wife just fell out of love with me and that she is struggling to want to try and grow with me. I think we are shedding our young images of marriage and getting ready to move on to a more beautiful relationship and she is enjoying a new sense of flirting and being found attractive by other men. Everything we missed by getting married so young. I am finding out this means alot about me as well. But I have re-engaged my love of her for who she is now and she seems to not want to do it for me. She is coming home tonight to tell me if we can try or not.
In my sadness
tim
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May 2009 
